Divorce ceremonies for healing ... maybe a toaster
Charlotte Eulette of Montclair, New Jersey, ceremoniously reclaimed her maiden name and slipped a ring from her mother on her newly bare wedding ring finger. Cathryn Michon hit the Los Angeles restaurant Mr. Chow with some friends who'd brought divorce gifts. In Las Vegas, reality-show regular Shanna Moakler served a three-tiered gateau -- complete with knife-wielding-bride cake topper (and matching dead groom) -- to attendees after her (first) split from Travis Barker. If just discussing divorce in public seemed taboo a few years ago, the growing trend of divorce celebrations is helping lessen the stigma surrounding the end of marriage. "Yes, it's sad and it's painful, but it's not failure," says Christine Gallagher, the owner of Los Angeles event company The Divorce Party Planner and the author of a book by the same name. "It's part of life, and yet it's the only major event for which we have no ritual. "A celebration communicates that divorce is OK -- life-affirming, even." Michon, 38, agrees. "It's like an Irish wake. Just because there's been a death doesn't mean you can't have food and drink, acknowledge the past and hope good things for the future. It's about closure." two or three per month -- serve up signature cocktails with names like the So Long and the Sucker, split-themed soundtracks ("Hit the Road, Jack" and "I Will Survive" are popular) and dartboards adorned with the ex's face. "A divorce party makes more sense than a bachelor party," says Marc Tadros of Montreal V.I.P., whose luxury divorce getaways have drawn customers, about 20 percent of them female, from as far away as Ireland and Germany. "It's a good time to blow off steam, work on your social networking skills." there's no blueprint for moving forward like there is with marriage." Ottawa wellness counselor Lucy MacDonald cautions divorcées to consider their motives in hosting a celebration, and not to overlook the key to emotional recovery after divorce: forgiveness, of oneself and one's ex. "If you're feeling bitter, angry or antagonistic, a divorce party may bring out the worst in you," warns MacDonald. "But if you've accepted your divorce as the next step in your growth as a person, your party is a signal to everyone that you're OK and looking to the future." |
